Au Pairing: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Incase you didn't know, I au paired in Paris, France when I was 18 for a year & am currently au pairing in Dublin, Ireland. While I don't consider myself an expert on the subject, I do feel as though I may be able to share some useful information for anyone thinking about becoming an au pair. 

This munchkin...

The Good
Being an au pair means a solid guarantee of a job as soon you arrive in your country of choice... There is no stress of having to stay in a hostel while looking for apartments & a full-time job, which means not having to pay a deposit either! 

You usually work less than 30 hours a week (or are supposed to), leaving you plenty of time to explore & travel, which is the main reason you're moving abroad in the first place! Also if you choose carefully, you can end up with evenings & weekends off (as I do).

If you're lucky, you can unintentionally end up with a second family. This makes being away from home (especially if it's your first time) a hell of a lot easier. You can end up establishing a lifelong bond with these people, including the kids. I still keep in touch with my French family!

One of the under looked points of becoming an au pair is the practice you're getting for when you have your own children! Or... It can also be the deciding factor in whether or not you'll have children. My au pair friends & I used to joke that au pairing is the best form of birth control there is... Haha.

Do I even need to mention the fact that you're in a new country?! In my case, European, which leads to more spontaneous weekend trips & jaunts to Spain considering the ridiculously low airline prices compared to back home.

If you choose correctly, you should end up with a family who pays your accommodation, airfare, health insurance, language lessons, petrol & car insurance (if you have to drive) & cell phone bill. Oh, also food. Enough said.

Day trip to the seaside

The Bad
Generally, there is a lack of privacy. It can be almost like still living with your parents... Except for worse, because it's your employers. Often, you can't head off to your room at the end of your shift to call your best friend to complain about the temper tantrums that were thrown earlier or the fact that you had to work late... Because your host parents will most likely be able to hear your conversation. There is no bringing boys home from the bar (if that's your thing) & hangovers are made 10X worse by the fact that you're woken up at 7am Sunday morning by children's screams, when you've just got in four hours ago from a night out. Also, you cannot hang out braless in the kitchen eating ice cream straight out of the tub on Saturday morning, which is something to seriously take into consideration! BUT, you can also end up in a guest house or an apartment of your own, as I did & there are always friends couches to crash on when it gets too hectic.

It's downright stressful. But what else can you expect when the actual life of toddlers is dependent on you? My first time au pairing I honestly didn't think I'd last, seeing as how I couldn't even take care of myself properly. It does get easier though, though it doesn't get any less stressful. Honestly, you just learn how to manage the stress. This is not a laid-back pub gig or like working in your favourite clothing store. The well-being of small humans is actually in your hands.

The children you end up taking care of can turn out to be absolute menaces, with no knowledge of discipline. Luckily, most of the time being firm, confident & never giving in will help you out in these cases. Or, you can end up being like one of my friends who called me at 8am on a Saturday morning to tell me that she was boarding a plane home for the weekend because she feared she'd have a mental breakdown if she stayed.

My hippie twin

The Ugly 
Having many friends who have au paired in various countries around the world, unfortunately I hear just as many, if not more, bad stories as I do good. If you're unlucky, you can end up being overworked, underpaid & ultimately, under appreciated... Not to mention the children. You can end up becoming extremely resentful towards your host parents & the country you're living in. Being in a situation like this in a foreign country usually makes you homesick & prevents you from having the experience you had hoped for & deserve.

Luckily, as Jim Rohn says, 'you are not a tree. If you don't like where you are, change it.' Finding a new host family is as easy as signing up on Au Pair World or discussing it with the agency you joined. Not for one second should you stay in a situation where you are unhappy, especially when you are travelling. You chose to become an au pair to learn a new language, live in a new country, make lasting relationships, immerse yourself in a culture & maybe even to find yourself. Being unhappy will lead you down the path to none of these. It may be frightening to sit your host parents down & tell them it's not working out. You may even feel like a failure because of it. Don't. 

Had to...

My Advice?
To save yourself from ending up in a bad situation in the first place, I have a few guidelines/suggestions.

• Do not au pair if you dislike children. It's not worth it.
• If it is your first time, do not choose a family with more than two kids. Preferably, choose a family with one & who is at least three years old, though of course the older they are, the easier (generally speaking) they are.
• Don't accept less than 100 euro a week, or the equivalent in the currency you'll be paid in. I make double this & wouldn't accept a penny less.
• Be picky! Do not rush the process of finding your host family out of excitement, which I know can be tempting.
• Although it seems like a good idea at the time to choose from families spanning ten different countries, narrow it down to a maximum of three countries. My second time around I actually narrowed it down to just one & it made the process a million times less stressful.
• Think twice about working for parents who work from home. Children can tend to act up when they're aware that the parent is home. Also, it can feel as though there is a lack of trust, even if there isn't.
• Search for au pair groups on FaceBook, Meetup.com & even CouchSurfing in the area you'll be living in to see if there is a large community of them. This is especially important if you are not attending language school, as meeting other au pairs/making friends in general can tend to be harder.
• Ask beforehand about vacation times & whether you can have friends & family stay with you. Personally, I would not au pair for a family who would not allow me to have guests. You are working for your room & board after all.
• Do not be afraid to speak up! Miscommunication is often the largest source of unhappiness in au pair/host family relationships. Often times one party may not even realize there is an issue.
• This goes along with being picky... Take your time & find a family where you either a) have your own bathroom, b) are in a guest house or, c) have your own apartment. Trust me, there are plenty out of families out there who offer these types of accommodation & it is worth the wait. Just be patient.

Have any of you au paired? It'd be great to hear about your experiences, good & bad. Even advice! Also, if anyone has more specific questions about au pairing I am more than happy to help as best I can. Regarding the amount of factors involved, I can say I'm very lucky to have found the two families I have & do not regret my choice to au pair abroad. Cheers! xxx

Why I'll Never CouchSurf Again...

I’ll just start with saying that I debated on writing this… It’s not an experience that I’d like to re-hash & I certainly do not wish for anyone at home to be worried for me, especially those like my Mum. Ultimately though, I ended up deciding that others being aware of the ‘other side’ of CouchSurfing will be worth it in the end. Onto Oslo…

It was about two months until our upcoming trip to Oslo, Norway. Our being my American friend who I met in Dublin & myself. We had booked the trip spur of the moment, much like I do everything & began CouchSurfing that very night. We knew that Oslo happened to be one of the most expensive cities in Europe & so were determined to find accommodation that wouldn't interfere with our budgets. CouchSurfing seemed like the perfect option. In exchange for gifts & cooking a few meals, we would have a place to stay & would be able to see Oslo like a local, my favourite type of travel.

After sending a few requests to members, we soon realized that Oslo was quite a popular city for CouchSurfing & many residents were already swamped. This lead to mistake number one… We accepted a request from someone who invited us. Now, of course, most members are genuine & reply to your open request with honest intentions… Most. So the chatting began. We talked to our host for a few weeks before deciding on our conclusion, that we would stay with him in Oslo & he would take us up to his Dad’s cabin to go cross country skiing. If it seems too good to be true, it most likely is. Just to mention, he did have references (though they all ended up being fake). Nothing on his FaceBook profile alarmed us, he had an average number of friends, he was into adventure sports & he even owned a company who we of course checked out, which was based around selling protection devices (ie. pepper spray & rape alarms… Aka the perfect alibi). We were pretty stoked to meet him & Oslo.

Frogner Park

We arrived in Oslo on a Friday morning & made it to his house with the help of his hand drawn maps. Specifically in his instructions, he told us to not ring the flat beside him… It was his brother’s. We thought maybe it was just because he would be sleeping, so thought nothing of it. In my forgetful nature, I rung his brother’s, no surprise there. We were let into the building & upon knocking on his brother’s, we were met with a confused & somewhat concerned face on the other side. Apologies ensued & we stepped into our hosts flat shortly after, thinking nothing of it. Even when our host received a questioning phone call from his brother minutes later, we just assumed we had woken him up & again, apologized. Little did we know that his brother actually had had no idea we were even coming... & knowing his brother's past, had every right to be questioning. In casual conversation we had found out that our host's apartment was paid for by his parent's & he seemed utterly annoyed that the location chosen was beside his brother.

We settled in for maybe 15 minutes before embarking out to Frogner Park (otherwise known as the naked park), which was literally in sight of our host’s place. Everything seemed fine, we had a few laughs & he seemed friendly enough, though slightly awkward. Gut instinct told me something was off, though I didn’t know it at the time… & so I contacted my Norwegian friend living in Oslo to see what he was up to that night. He invited us over & I invited our host to come along. My trusting nature was telling me that although our host might be weird, it could be a cultural difference & I’d give him the benefit of the doubt, but leave the deciphering up to my Norwegian friend. When it became clear later that night that our host was trying to push our bottle of Irish whiskey on us, both my American friend & I stopped drinking. We informed our host that we’d be staying at our friend’s for a few more hours & to leave without us. He seemed okay with this, but then proceeded to continuously text our friend over the next few hours. Did we mention that our friend happened to have two Norwegian cops over for drinks that same night? Thank f!@#, is all I have to say for that.

Royal Palace

Immediately after our host left, our Norwegian friend told us he had something to tell us & pulled out his iPhone. He proceeded to pull up article after Norwegian article of news reports involving our host… The jist being that he was charged with taking nude photography of underaged, unwilling girls, with the worst of it involving two victims who ended up hospitalized with knife wounds when they resisted his attempts. All reports stated to immediately contact the police if he even remotely attempted to contact you. Our Norwegian friend had known that the name sounded familiar & this was because of the fact that he had been all over the news just years prior.

Everything added up… We then recalled the nude photograph above his bed who he had stated was just an ‘old friend’... We remembered the security cameras in his living room, each directly & strategically placed to face each couch, where we would be sleeping. At the time of seeing them, we idiotically & naivly assumed they were there because of his vast collection of expensive equipment in the apartment. Did I mention that we could not see the Norwegian articles? Because they did not come up in Irish Google search results. The fact that he was CouchSurfing & preying on foreigners was the smartest thing he ever could’ve tried.

Had to add some humour into this at some point...

At this point we began to, well, freak out. All of our belongings were at his apartment… We now had nowehere to stay for the next four nights. We were in a foreign country, knowing almost no-one, not even speaking the language & with limited funds. Freak out is probably an understatement as to what we were feeling in that moment to be honest. We did settle down though & ended up deciding on the plan to go to his first thing in the morning, with the company of our two new found police men escorts. Needless to stay, we came out of this entire situation unscathed, though with zero sleep & possibly a few tears.

A this point we still have police reports to complete & ended up sleeping at different places literally each night of our trip, not knowing each day if we would even have somewhere to stay that night. Lugging our backpacks made me thankful as hell that I for once in my life packed light for a trip. Yet another lesson to be learned from all of this, am I right?!… Also, I learned to always, always, always have a backup plan, as obvious as this is to most, it wasn't to us. Oh & backup cash. Ridiculously & embarrassingly enough, I left my credit card at home in Dublin because I was determined to stay on budget. Silly, SILLY mistake that I will never make again, even if I thought it was clever at the time. Luckily though, my American friend turned out to be one of the best friends I ever could have made.

Yoga at the Opera House... Much needed de-stressing.

At this end of all of this, I just have to state how very thankful I am. I’m thankful for foreign friends looking out for me, people I’d never even met offering couches, beds & food for us the entire rest of the trip, after having heard what happened. I’m thankful for having the chance to have visited the gorgeous city of Oslo. I’m thankful that we made the very best of the rest of our time, even if we were haggard & stressed for most of the time we had. I’m thankful that my flight home landed safely, because I was f!@#ing dying to land on Irish soil… To be quite graphic, I’m thankful that my friend & I were not assaulted, raped, or hurt. I’m thankful that we learned a ridiculous amount of lessons out of the experience. Lastly, I’m thankful to be alive. It may sound dramatic, but that statement has never rung more true than it did in Oslo. Thinking about what could have happened that weekend if it wasn't for my friend's quick wit makes me sick to my stomach.

Now, after saying all of this, I honestly have nothing against CouchSurfing in the slightest. I probably should, but I don’t. I think the concept of giving something to others for nothing in return is brilliant, if flawed in its theory. I will not, however, be CouchSurfing again & I understand that this is completely personal. I would rather go on less trips, spend the money on hostels & sacrifice the chance of seeing cities as locals, if only it means that I will be safe.

My apologies for the long post, but I hope that this will provide some perspective into the other side of CouchSurfing. To disclaim, I’m not in anyway trying to deter anyone from participating, but please, PLEASE be aware of the dangers & take every measure possible to prevent something like this, or worse, from happening to you. Also… More on Oslo to come, the happy though!

The Travel Mistake I Made in Paris (Cringe Worthy)...

I'm just going to go ahead & state the fact that I seem to make quite a few more mistakes than the average traveller... Or at least it often feels that way. I'll just dive right in to one of the last memories I will always have of Paris. Word of warning, be prepared for sarcasm.

One of multiple shopping trips I took that year, this one in Saint-Michel.

 

So let's start the day before my flight home... I'm in my guest house, frantically trying to (last minute) pack up my year's worth of shopping, refusing to let go of even the silliest of things. To give you more of an idea, I was packing items such as three different types of bar soap from the South of France, multiple 'shades' of nude lipsticks, Winter coats that I had purchased (because every girl definitely needs multiple wool coats in varying lengths & colours) & about 5 or 6 pairs of high heels alone. These were just a few of the ridiculous items I managed to pack into my suitcase. Of course, the suitcase was literally bursting at the seams, but I still absolutely refused to leave anything behind.  

 

As far as carry ons, I was using my weekender bag & a giant handbag, stuffing both to the brim, to the point where I had to carry my laptop in my hands, without a case I might add. On top of this, I also had a snowboard, complete with boots, helmet, jacket & pants. Oh & without a case also. Yes, at the age of 18 I would rather spend my money on an oversized ostrich skin, ridiculous looking handbag than cases for my laptop & snowboard. So what did I do? What would any other Canadian do... I duct taped (or as close as I could find to duct tape in France) my snowboard to my suitcase, I even have photo proof. Priorities ladies, make yours smarter than mine.

 

No words...

Qeue that night, before the flight, with me frantically calling my Mum back home to transfer money over to my account so that I could actually afford a taxi to the airport. I had blew my last week's pocket money on a night out to say my goodbyes to all my expat girls. In terms of my savings you're thinking? I'm not even sure if I knew what that word meant... Needless to say my Mum was NOT too impressed, but had not seen me for months & just wanted me home so thankfully agreed. Did I mention I was an over dramatic 18 year old & I was in tears this entire day/night?

So... Booking the taxi. You'd think after a year of living in France & speaking French everyday, I'd be able to do this no problem? Well, I did. Except the company I called, never came. Turns out they didn't feel like driving out to Versailles at 3am but failed to mention that to me over the phone. The first train didn't leave the terminal until 6am & my flight departed at 9am. The train ride alone was an hour & a half... & if you've ever flown international, you'll know that that's cutting it extremely close to check-in time. Actually my check-in time was supposed to BE at 6am, so during this train ride I did not even know if I would be seeing Canada that day.

Champs-Élysées, I blame you for my overpacking.
 

The journey was the worst, due to my overpacking naturally. I walked a half hour to the station & being the 100 pound girl I am had a pretty tough time heaving my luggage behind me. No gym membership & wine apparently make for weak muscles, who knew? When I got to the station, of course the booth was closed (being 5 in the morning), leaving me without a way to purchase a ticket having no cash, which... Resulted in me being forced to jump over the barriers & find some nice, young gentlemen to lift my luggage over after me.

Luckily there was only one connection during the train ride, in which I actually did not make, because the doors decided to close on my suitcase with my laptop & handbag still remaining on the platform. Of course, this tacked on an extra 20 minutes to my trip, having to wait for the next connection to arrive. The next connection I was slightly smarter & enticed a few Frenchies to help me haul my luggage, at least I knew how to do that right? Haha...

When I got to the airport & finally found the correct terminal (my luck it was the furthest away), it was already nearing 8am & to my dismay my luggage was 30 pounds overweight, due to my utter ignorance. At this point the frustration was getting the better of me & I just wanted to get the f!@# back to my English speaking, hearty food eating, heavy whiskey drinking home country.

Seriously though!

So I opened my suitcase in the middle of Charles de Gaulle & proceeded to pick up heap after heap of miscellaneous items (clothing, makeup, shoes, books, you name it!), dumping it on the counter as I went. The nice young lady serving me was a tad baffled/in complete shock & I had my fair share of stares from onlookers, which to be honest I was used to anyway for half of the questionable things I did that year.
 

Without waiting, I picked up what was left of my belongings & walked through security, only to make last call for my flight. They were calling my name over the intercom. Story of my life, but seriously, I am that annoying person, my apologies if you're ever on a flight with me. I didn't sleep a wink on the flight home, even with the few glasses of Shiraz I slugged back. I say few meaning about 10. Au rev(f!@#ing)oir Paris!
 

If you've managed to read this far, I first applaud you. I second apologize, I'm fully aware my story telling needs some work. Though, I sincerely hope at least one person finds enjoyment out of my story. Personally, I find this hilarious now, which is more than I could say at the time. Also highly embarassing how inexperienced of a traveller I was, oh to be 18 again. Next... I have just a few key pieces of (slightly obvious) advice, so keep reading please!

Versailles in Winter, my home for the year.

 

The Advice:

1. You do not need to bring home 10 magazines. Or 3 pairs of yoga pants. Or the pillow that you bought at Ikea... In fact do not bring these items with you & please do not purchase them on your travels either, with the exception of magazines, but discard, discard, discard.

2. You will regret bringing a weekender bag as your carry on. You will also regret carrying an oversized handbag on your shoulder. Opt for a backpack & a crossbody purse at most. Trust me.

3. Have a backup plan if your way to the airport fails. Even if this means calling 3 cab companies & turning down 2 of them if they all arrive. This is a piece of advice I am swearing to from now on, due to sheer paranoia.

4. Buy cases for your expensive items. This is one area not to be frugal in & although you would think this one's common sense, obviously it was not for me. My $800 snowboard took a pretty good bang up job on the way home, all my fault... & in terms of my laptop, how did I not get robbed?!

& lastly...

5. Do not blow all your money while travelling. Have at least an emergency fund for unplanned transportation, food & even a night or two stay incase you miss your bus, train or plane.

I like to think my boy Nelson knows my struggles.

I'd love to hear any of your travel mistakes, big or small?! Send me a blog post you've wrote or comment below! (Seriously, it will make me feel better about sharing my own humiliating story...) Or if you don't have a story, maybe just some obvious tips you've neglected to follow over your years of travelling? I know I can't be the only one.
xxx

* Disclaimer: I am thankful to say I am a much more experienced & mature traveller at this time, though I hate to say I'm positive many more mistakes are sure to follow... Also please note that this is written in a dramatic fashion, I'm aware. Please give me some grief, I know that there are much, much worse things that could've happened to me throughout this journey. I'm merely sharing for entertainment purposes!

The Cost of Au Pairing

Getting closer & closer to the date of my departure, I'm kind of curious (& scared) to figure out the actual cost of my decision to au pair once again, this time in Ireland. I'll compare the cost with that of when I au paired in France, but to be honest my memory is pretty horrid & it will more or less just be educated guesses. This will hopefully help some of you who are thinking about au pairing yourselves! Especially because when I googled the subject, it was incredibly difficult to find any sort of information on the topic.

 

Ireland
Visa: $425 + $2,500 in Support Funds
Flight: Originally $600 one way, but I had to change the date so ended up being closer to $900.
Essentials: Unfortunately I destroyed my laptop, so I will be buying a new one, as well as a backpack for travelling within Europe & new travel adapters. Say $1000.
Savings: Will be bringing around $3,000 (which includes my Support Funds).
Total: $5,325

France
Visa: I believe it was around $200.
Flight: $700 (2-Way, family reimbursed me)
Essentials: I probably spent around $300, but on new clothing rather than actual essentials.
Savings: Maybe $500
Total: $1,000

Pretty massive different between countries, but then again the Ireland Working Holiday Visa does require Support Funds, which the Au Pair Visa for France did not. Also I will be buying practical equipment this round as well as of course bringing more in savings. I will definitely be more prepared this trip, happy to say!

Also, bare in mind that although this does seem pricey, just think of the cost of moving abroad without a job lined up, having to pay first & last month's rent right off the bat, putting down deposits on utilities, worrying about your spending until you actually can find a job, etc...

In all, au pairing is a great way to move abroad for those with less funds or with the urge to leave NOW. I will also be finding myself a weekend job to fund my travels even further, which will ultimately allow me to live on my own! Any au pairs out there?! Would love to hear your thoughts. 
xxx

15 Photos: Describing My Love of Ireland

As you know (or don't!), I'm off to Ireland once again come September... Now the last time I visited I only had a chance to visit for two weeks, but that time alone was enough for me to absolutely fall in love with the country. These are 15 of my favourites, some repeating. Also back from when I did not have an SLR, so no judging on quality please! & of course there will be plenty more to come in the upcoming year.

One word: Wexford...

The GREEN

The streets...

Wild sheep along the side of every road made for multiple stops along the way.

The water!

Colourful buildings make for charming towns, not surprisingly I have about 50 other photos resembling this exact one but in different locations.

The castles, everywhere & anywhere! Some available for tours & some just random in the countryside.

As I said! More green & castles...

The beaches, this was a particularily foggy day making for the most perfect weather (according to me at least!)

The graveyards... Such beautiful tombstones no matter how small the yard.

Had to add yet another castle, of course...

The Blarney Castle Grounds

One of my favourite castles yet, on the Blarney grounds.



 Just more wild sheep, this time I've taken over the shot, typical.

Guinness... Possibly my favourite beer, although I'm quite sure I gained 5 pounds along the way just purely from Guinness. Was not a meal had in which I didn't have a Guinness alongside.

I s'pose that's all for now! Most of these photos I've even forgotten where they've actually been taken because over our two weeks we basically just rented a car & drove all of Ireland (excluding Northern). But if you're really curious I'm sure I can pin down the locations! Also, I can guarantee more posts on Ireland, so hoping no-one minds.

xxx